A Sad Story About Tequila I witnessed a Tequila Tragedy this morning, and I was so moved by it, I had to write about it. This morning started like many others, we rose painfully early to tackle the tide of work, and at about 11 Mr. K says to me, "Where are we going to eat?" Now, as Bartcop once said about his spouse, you don't argue with your sweetie when they ask you that question. Not if you value your relationship anyway. The acceptable answer to this question is either the name of a restaurant, or my personal favorite, "I don't know, what sounds good to you, snookums?" This morning we opted for Holman's, a local greasy spoon that has decent food, *great* Bloody Marys (a K family fave!) and even a decent tequila. This morning it was pretty quiet in there, we had the whole bar side of the place to ourselves. So, Mr. K and I were sitting there, minding our own business, sipping Bloody Redepmtion and enjoying the comfort food, when this Couple walks in. He's beefy and looks like a big jerk, and she looks like she's been around a block or two. They perch at the bar, and somehow they are asking the bartender about their best tequila. I think to myself, these two need to be drinking Tequila like my cat needs to borrow my car for the weekend. Then, the unthinkable happens. I see the bartender nodding towards the K table, and she's saying, "Those two are always ordering top shelf liquor, lemme ask them. Hey! Which of these tequilas do you usually get?" (Nice reputation to have, huh?) I graciously get up and go over nearer the bar and point. The Patron. Anejo. The one with the gold ribbon. gold. Yeah. That is the smoothest they have here, if you get a chance to try Chinaco Anejo, take it. It's even better than this. Then I notice the Jerk is leering at me (I must look alluring in my flannel shirt, boots and jeans, unbrushed hair and under-eye-bags) and that his Woman is glaring at me suspiciously. I decide a hasty retreat is in order. "Well, enjoy that Patron, cheers!" I say as I vanish back to my booth, stopping to obviously smooch my Dear Hubby before sliding into my seat opposite him. In my haste to avoid a brawl, I neglected to remember to instruct them that top-shelf liquor deserves top-shelf drinking. Yeesh. I returned to our table and our food came. I looked up from the first bout of feeding-frenzy to see the Tequila equivalent of a car wreck. I see our Woman, gulping her entire $6 shot of Patron, followed by the (Double-Yeesh) suck of lime. I almost lost it right there. I winced, and Mr. K, who had his back to the Couple, asked what was wrong. I told him what I'd seen and he winced too. I didn't see how the Big jerk consumed his shot, but I must assume it was equally heinous. The bartender said to the couple, "How was it?" They said a little uncertainly, "Oh, yeah, great thanks...uh, very smooth." I'm thinking, that bartender should not be speaking in the past tense for at least another 10 minutes!! Then, the couple gets the bill for their shots, and they almost lose it. $12 for two shots of Tequila that took less than 30 seconds to drink! "Well, we're worth it!" she laughs nervously. Now he's the one glaring. I said wearily to Mr. K, "That shot of Patron did not get to fulfill it's ultimate destiny. That is so unfair to it." Mark nodded knowingly. When the waitress returned to ask how things were, we both looked at each other and then at the waitress and said in perfect unison, "A shot of Patron Anejo - the one with the gold ribbon, please. No lime, no back." We could only hope these shots would feel more appreciated than the last two. Don't let this happen to your friends, folks. Koresh, don't even let this happen to your enemies. Drink like you care, or just don't bother... Thank you for letting me vent!!

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